Thursday, January 27, 2011

Snow Day (repeat 3 times)

Calvin and Hobbes snow

FCPS has granted me 3 snow days. I really only wanted one. Yesterday brought productivity. Today was filled with friends, reading and knitting. Tomorrow…I think it’s time for some mischief.

And yes, I shoveled snow at 3 pm today in my cookie monster pajama pants.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Reflexive Charity

Perhaps the greatest charity comes when [I am] kind to [myself], when [I] don’tMirror Mirror On The Wall judge or categorize [myself], when [I] simply give [myself] the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is accepting [my] differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with [myself when I] let [myself] down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when [I don’t] handle something the way [I] might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of [my] weakness and being willing to forgive [myself when I have] hurt [myself]. Charity is expecting the best of [myself].

Marvin J. Ashton “The Tongue Can Be a Sharp Sword”

Image from randy m santa-ana:photography

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Mattress Monster

Monster Cecily

Image from junkerjane

T ransitions are tricky. Kids with autism struggle with transitions. Everyone has had a painful transition at least once in their existence. Currently the transition I struggle with is the one that happens daily at 5:30 in the morning when it’s time for me to emerge from my cocoon of warm blankets and begin the process of the day.

Embarking on the adventure of a new day wouldn’t be too bad. I could handle the shift from dreamland to wakefulness. However, there seems to be a third party involved: the Mattress Monster. I’m sure you’ve met him before. He’s the one that whispers lies in your ears about not needing to shower today or how no one will notice if your clothes aren’t ironed. He even says distasteful things like ten more minutes won’t hurt anyone and make-up is overrated. His iron grip of comfort can be quite a trick to maneuver out of, especially when you’re just waking up.

I have learned after many years of trial and error, that the Mattress Monster can be tricked. Transitions, even those involving the Mattress Monster, are best when given warning and allowed to happen in a gradual, almost natural fashion. Enter, what I lovingly like to call, Jocelyn’s patented Light Therapy Approach to Waking Up (LTATWU, for short). Okay, it’s not really patented, but I do know people who work for the Patent & Trade Organization.


5:30 A light in the corner of the room flickers on. MM hugs me tightly through the night, but the light distracts him for a moment as he slowly loosens his grip on my torso)

5:35 A soothing song begins to play from my iHome that signals a squirt of citrus air freshener coupled with the switch of the main light and a shift to the sitting upright in bed posture. This allows me to slide out of MM’s grip without him hardly noticing. I’ve read that MM is slightly allergic to citrus aromas. My eyes are probably still closed at this time, but this is mostly to let MM think he still is in charge, but I know better.

5:40 A rousing hymn bursts from my phone. MM would have me listen with my eyes closed, but I am a better tactician than he, and boldly beat a 4/4 pattern making sure to cross my midline and sing along with the hymn. By the time the song is over, I bravely slide out of bed onto my knees to MM’s chagrin.

Mattress Monster doesn’t even know what hit him. Who knew an electric timer, an iPod, a smart phone, and a can of air freshener would combat such a sneaky counter agent.

How do you combat the Mattress Monster who resides in your home?

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

The gift exchange

I like to buy my roommates gifts. Well, actually I like to break their things and buy them replacements. Is that the same as buying them a gift? How about if I upgrade it a bit?

On the flip side, I like it when my friends give me gifts. I mean…I like it when my friends lend me things and then say I can borrow them indefinitely. That’s the same as a gift, right?

Whitney, I will return your extremely comfy cookie monster pajama pants…sometime. Thanks for the extended loan!

Cookie Monster Pajama Pants - Oh, so comfy!

Sunday, January 2, 2011

A birthday surprise or why you shouldn’t tell Jocelyn ANYTHING

Wait Wait Don't Tell me logoSo, there I was minding my own business looking for ideas for my dad for his birthday. I say to myself: Aahh! I have absolutely no idea what to get Dad for his birthday. I am a bad daughter. Aahh!. Then I say to myself Perhaps my sisters can help. Then, not to myself, but to my sister, I say Andrea, I have absolutely no idea what I should get Dad for his birthday. What are you getting him? This is where Andrea makes a critical error. She says to me I am getting Dad Inception. He enjoys watching movies and that’s a movie I think he’ll enjoy. I commend her for her brilliant gift idea and begin to rack my brain for appropriate movies to get Dad. I then decide that I should get him one of my favorite board games and make Andrea drive me all over San Diego in search of this game. She is a good sister.

As a good sister, she should have known not to tell me anything because not only am I bad daughter, I apparently am a bad sister too.

Monday night, Dad decides that he would like to watch a movie. He asks for suggestions. I being the helpful person say to Dad (I wish I had said it to myself first) Well, you got a DVD for Christmas. Let’s watch that. Dad says to me No I didn’t. I insist that he did. I say I know you did, Andrea gave you Inception. Dad gives me a very Dad look and let’s me know that I’m wrong. I can only imagine what he said to himself. Then, to myself, I say Ahh. Andrea gave everyone those amazingly adorable calendars for Christmas. The DVD was for his BIRTHDAY tomorrow! Ahh, RECOVER FAST! To my dad, I calmly and collectedly reply Oh, I must have been mistaken. Perhaps it was Jack that got Inception. You got all that delightful music. I was just confused. Dad buys my story and tells himself My daughter sure is wrong sometimes.

The next morning I tell Andrea my faux pas and ask her for her forgiveness. Later, Dad opened Andrea’s gift first. Andrea gave Dad Inception. Surprise! After extending words of gratitude, he winks at me as he realizes my blunder.