Saturday, February 25, 2012

Relief Society Muscles

Triceps Brachii

Image Credit: Original by sv:Användare:Chrizz, 28 maj 2005

When I was a teenager I would snicker about “Relief Society Muscles.” You’ve seen them. Maybe you don’t know that they’re called “Relief Society Muscles,” but I’m sure you’ve seen them on more mature women. It’s the loose skin that is sometimes heavy with fat that swings when mature members of my church’s women’s organization conduct music. (I tried to find a picture; however, no self-respecting person would post a decent image of their underarm flab for the world to see on the internet. Imagine that!)

(As an aside about music and arm fat, I learned that the reason the violin and flute were considered masculine instruments in colonial days is that gentlefolk of the era did not consider it proper for women to hold their arms up in such a manner as to reveal their Relief Society Muscles.)

After spending this winter hibernating, I realized that I have been developing a bit of a Relief Society Muscle. (Please rest assured that I will not be posting a picture of this development, as I am a self-respecting lady.) At first I thought I should accept this progression toward being a “mature woman” and a member of Relief Society.

However, in a moment of supreme motivation, I decided to take action. Instead of just pinning posts about great workouts, I would actually do one. (gasp!) I pulled out a great Tabata workout and cleared some space in my living room.

Somewhere between 2008 and 2012, pushups became exceedingly difficult. Perhaps gravity is on a different setting here in VA. I began my first 20 second interval and realized very quickly that I would need to use my knees. I began cranking out pushups, but quickly wore out.

By the time I got to my 5th interval my form had degraded to falling on the floor and barely forcing my body off the ground with weird convoluted twists. I don’t think they were classified as pushups at that point, but I kept going because “I don’t stop when I’m tired. I stop when I’m done!” I bet you wish you were a fly on the wall when I came to my 8th round. (In fact, at that point, I wished that I were a fly on my wall.) I should have listened to my body and stopped when I was tired.

I don't stop until I'm done!

Today I spent some time reading about relieving sore muscles after exercise. Basically I learned that the best thing to do is prevention (start exercise programs slowly and with moderation) and to wait out the pain. Most sore muscles are recuperated within 48 hours.

It’s been 56 hours, and I had to have Mr. Chappell help me take my shirt off because my triceps are still screaming at me.

image(should be amended to: Today I will love myself enough to exercise *at my level.*)

For reference, Arnold does not have any sign of the Relief Society Muscle:

The Governator will Pump You UP!

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Wedding dresses have many uses

Wedding dresses are designed for

 

 

1. Looking gorgeous

2. Giving hugs

3. Eating delicious meals

4. Lifting golf carts

Mr. Chappell and I had a beautiful wedding day. There were so many touching moments, but that’s not the story I’m going to tell today. Today I will tell you a story along the theme of “Sometimes, Jocelyn makes bad decisions.”

Being the attention seeker that I am, I had decided that I would wear my wedding gown all day. Which would have been fine, if I had remembered to be a lady and do lady-like things in my gown.

Mr. Chappell and I made it to the breathtaking rental on Catalina Island. After a full day of celebrating we were tired and ready to change out of our wedding attire; however, there was an issue with the key to the door. Neither of us could get it to work. So, we decided to take the golf cart up to the entrance gate to see if someone could help us out.

To our dismay, in the process of backing up the golf cart, somehow the cover got wrapped around the front wheels of the cart. Of course the natural flow of events was for me to offer to lift the golf cart while my husband pulled the cover out from under the wheels. It was almost a success. My dress made an intriguing noise when I heaved. We ended up getting some help from the guards (and some interesting comments) and had a lovely time on our honeymoon.

The following week while hugging friends and family at the ring exchange, I discovered the source of the “intriguing noise,” and spent the afternoon with a sleeve half attached to my dress.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Happy Valentine’s Day

Mr. Chappell loves words. He can’t get enough sappy declarations of my love. Since I’m better at inducing chuckles than swoons, I thought I would enlist the help of poets for my Valentine’s Day card. I checked out two books of love poems from the public library hoping to find the words that capture my emotions. You would think that I would have been successful when the cover looks like this:

English Love Poems

Instead, I found a collection of love poems about deceit, the transitory nature of love, and regret. Those aren’t exactly the emotions I was hoping to convey to Mr. Chappell. Instead I was left to use my own words. Sigh. After reading these poems all morning, it was refreshing to shift and consider the beauty of our relationship and our understanding of the eternal nature of families. (I love juxtaposition!) If we honor our temple covenants and live Christ-centered lives, we can be together for eternity. What a beautiful thing.

 

 

Instead of finding the right words in English L♥ve Poems, I found them on my favorite internet research site (yes, Dad, Pinterest)

Isaac Newton's Love Theory

*Mr. Chappell wanted it noted that he is not an object: he is an agent. Apparently he doesn’t like being objectified. Who knew!